Stare Out
by Kyizi
Summary: Harry, Ginny, a stare out and...babies? *Answer to challenge*


Stare Out

By Kyizi

Disclaimer: They ain't mine, the story is :)

Rating: PG-13 for innuendo

Summary: This is an answer to the Towerstock Contest at gryffindortower.net. It's silly, it's stupid, it tries to be funny, but hey, it's all in fun so who cares!

The challenge was as follows…

1) Must be H/G. (Why did I even bother putting this?)    
2) Someone must say: "Grammar? Harry and Ginny speak the language of love."   
3) Someone must say: "Ginny! Harry! Babies! Right now! More babies! Bring on the babies! AHHHHHH!!!"   
4) A group of characters must chorus, "Nobody cares" at Harry or Ginny or both.   
5) Fawkes must be replaced by a buzzard.   
6) Quidditch is no longer. They play FOOTBALL! (American Football, that is. This one is for you Carissa.)  
7) Someone must say: "Doooo-Jesus!" (It's from To Kill a Mockingbird.)   
  


~x~x~x~x~x~

"Quiddich."

"Love."

"You're sad. Rose."

"Am not. Flower."

"Are too. Pot."

"Shut up. Hat."

"No. Stand…wait a minute, how do you get hat from pot?"

"It was the first thing that came to mind!"

"You're a very strange person, Harry."

"Thanks, Gin, from you, I'll take that as a compliment."

"What the hell are you two on about now?" Ron asked sitting next to his friend. Harry and Ginny were currently hunched over opposite sides of the table facing each other, almost nose to nose.

"Word association stare out." Ginny replied, not breaking her gaze.

"Looser tidies up after Quiddich practice for the next week." 

"Not again," Ron shook his head then frowned, "Wasn't it Ginny's turn this week."

"It most certainly was not!" Ginny cried out, finally breaking the stare with Harry, "The rota clearly states it's Harry's turn."

"Ha, I win!" Harry called triumphantly, smiling as Ginny turned to glare at him.

"Why they ever made you two joint Quiddich Captains, I'll never know." Ron shook his head, smiling as Hermione crossed the room to sit next to Ginny.

"Late for class, Miss Granger?" Ron asked with mock concern.

"This is not class, Ron, and I was handing in an extra credit report for Arithmancy." She said smiling sweetly at him, "Something you should, perhaps think about for some of your classes considering your dreadful results for some of them."

Ron glared at her but didn't comment, merely turned to Harry and asked, "Any idea why McGonagall called this meeting anyways?"

"Not a clue, but only the sixth and seventh years seem to be in trouble." Harry shrugged.

"There's nothing to say that we're in trouble." Hermione commented, although the panic in her eyes showed that she was a little concerned at the prospect. "You don't think we're in trouble, do you?"

Harry shook his head then turned to Ginny, "Just think, Gin," Harry said smirking at her, "Not only do you have to clean up after Quiddich this week, but if you hadn't been so damn brainy, you'd still be an ickle fifth year."

Ginny glared at him and he smirked. "Just think, Harry, if Hermione hadn't repeatedly turned down that same offer, you and Ron would still be ickle first years."

"Are you insinuating that I can't think for myself?"

"If the sock fits."

"Don't you mean shoe?"

"I mean a lot of things, Harry, you just rarely see them." Harry frowned and Ron rolled his eyes as Professor McGonagall entered the room through the portrait.

"Good Evening, everyone." She smiled tightly, "I would imagine that you are all wondering why this meeting has been called."

"School's being closed, we can all go home, don't worry about exams!" McGonagall frowned at Fred as the common room erupted in roars, excluding Hermione, who glared at a hollering Ron.

"Very funny, Mr. Weasley. Although, I'm sure it wont be as amusing when you're serving detention tomorrow afternoon."

Fred shrugged an apology as McGonagall turned back to face the rest of the room. "Professor Dumbledore, myself and the rest of the house heads have had a meeting and decided that it may be a prudent course of action to prepare you all for life outside of Hogwarts. 

"With the war going on, I assume that most people have had little time to think about some serious aspects of life. In order to prepare you for this, we have decided to enrol you all in a 'Life Studies' class. The House heads will hold these classes and the timetable will be handed out this evening at dinner."

There was a chorus of groans throughout the room but Professor McGonagall continued despite them. "For each class you are to be partnered with a member of the opposite sex…" 

"Wahay!" Fred and George exclaimed in unison, launching themselves into Angelina and Katie's laps. "What about it, baby?" Fred asked Angelina, wagging his eyebrows.

"Enough! Fred, George, you will both be serving detention for the remainder of the term." As the twins sheepishly removed themselves from their giggling girlfriends as the Professor continued, "Now, as I was saying, we have partnered you all within your houses as to make you feel more comfortable within the class. The list is on the wall." Professor McGonagall indicated the wall to the left of the fireplace as a parchment of paper appeared on it. As she exited the room, there was a rush of bodies flooding to the list. 

"Well, Angel-face looks like you're stuck with me!" Fred announced kissing Angelina on the cheek. "Hey, George you and Katie got different partners!"

"What?" George exclaimed as he and Katie made their way to the front of the list. A few moments later he began to laugh hysterically, "There has to be a misprint! They got the wrong Weasley, I tell you!" George made his way through the crowd and threw himself across the room, kneeling at Hermione's feet, "Hermy, my love, my darling!"

"What?" Ron yelled, standing so quickly that his chair toppled behind him. 

"Yes, Ronniekins, I've stolen your one true love away from your evil grasp." 

Harry and Ginny exchanged smirks, as Hermione turned beet red and Ron stalked across the room to find out whether or not the twins were telling the truth, and if they were, to find out who his partner was.

"Katie?" Ron turned to face his brother's girlfriend with something akin to horror. The elder Gryffindor smiled and walked slowly towards him, wrapping her arms around a blushing Weasley.

"Yes dear?" Harry and Ginny laughed as it was Hermione and George's turn to frown.

"Oy! Get your hands off him, Katie, and put 'em back where they belong."

Rolling her eyes, Ginny turned back to Harry and narrowed her eyes, smiling mysteriously. Harry leaned away from the table a little and frowned, "I know that look. I don't like that look."

"Round two. Looser cleans up for a week _and_ has to train Colin Creevey for that week."

"That's my job. You'd be willing?" Harry leaned forward.

  
"Well, I need something to entice you to the game so that I can beat you."

"I'm sure there are other ways to entice me," Harry muttered, smiling as Ginny blushed and looked away. "Okay then, one more."

"Right." Ginny smiled, "You won last time," she said through gritted teeth, "So you can start this time."

"You really hate to lose, don't you?"

"Get on with the game, Potter."

"Yes m'am." Harry grinned, leaning forward to stare her out. "Okay, Fawkes,"

"Buzzard."

"Since when did Fawkes become a buzzard?"

"Since right now, get a move on."

"I think you lost, Fawkes isn't a Buzzard."

"Yeah, well, I meant Phoenix, didn't I?"

"But you didn't say Phoenix."

"Harry, get on with it!"

"Fine, you start."

"Fine."

"So start then."

Ginny glared at him and smirked, "Mockingbird,"

"Doooo Jesus."

"You've read To Kill A Mockingbird?"

"I went to a Muggle school, Gin, get on with it."

"Well, where the hell am I meant to go from there?"

"You started it, you can't finish, you lose."

"I don't think so, you're the one who said Fawkes, and I mean where can you go from there?"

  
"Well, certainly not to Buzzard, that's for sure."

"Thin Ice, buddy. You're skating on it."

"Hmmm, sounds like fun, are you with me?"

"Maybe, now get on with the game."

"Where were we?"

"Somewhere grammatically incorrect." Hermione interjected.

"Huh?" Harry asked glancing over at his friend.

"Hah! I win!"

"What?" He turned to face Ginny who was grinning triumphantly. "That doesn't count, that was Hermione's fault."

"You know the rules, Harry."

"This coming from someone who broke them more than once in the last two games."

"Nice try, buddy, but you lost. Grammar or no grammar."

"Did I hear grammar?" Fred asked as he and George sat down at either side of Harry. They each placed an arm around his shoulder and pointed to some spot on the ceiling.

"Grammar?" said George, "Grammar? Harry and Ginny speak the language of love."

"Knock it off." Ginny said, blushing furiously.

"Oh, but Ginnykins, we're only looking out for the best interests of our ickle sister." Fred said with a pout.

"Yes, our poor little Virginia can't fend for herself when there be menfolk about."

"We just want to make sure that our good buddy, Harry, here keeps his hands to himself during this little "Life Studies' class."

"We're partners?" Harry asked, trying his best to refrain from gulping.

"Yes, you are." Fred said leaning closer to him, "So be good."

"Fred, George," All three heads turned to Ginny. She was bright red, but judging by her Weasley temper, none of them were sure if it was through anger or embarrassment. Likely both.

"Yes, Gin?" the twins chorused.

"Leave,"

"Yes, Gin." The twins stood up and left the table, only to turn back a few moments later. They walked back to the table and exchanged a smile with Ron. "Oh, and Ginny? Harry?"

"What?" Harry asked, Ginny remained silent, but turned to towards them, still glaring.

"About the little loving you two have going but are afraid to say anything about, it's getting old, and frankly," Fred started, grinning at the looks on their faces. He exchanged a look with his brothers, "Nobody cares!" They chorused.

"It's just so much fun to tease you."

"Yes, just wait till Bill and Charlie hear about your _partnership_. I'll bet Harry will receive some lovely howlers before the weeks out, don't you think, Ron? Fred?"

"Oh, yes, George, I definitely think so. I'd run Harry, while you still can, anyone who's ever received a Howler from Charlie would agree with me, right Ron."

Ron smiled, "Keep me out of this, I sleep in the same dorm as him, and he still has some of your Christmas package left."

The twins grinned and left the table, yelling a sickly sweet, "Bye bye Harrykins, Ginnykins."

"Eh, Hermione, can I have a word?" Ron asked as soon as the twins had left. He glanced sidelong at Harry, who had gone a nice pastel green colour, and stood up, pulling Hermione away with him.

After a few moments, Ginny cleared her throat. Looking over at Harry, she finally gave in and fell onto the table giggling. "Your face!" she gasped. "You look like you've been petrified!"

Harry managed a week laugh, "Gin,"

"What?" she asked, drying her eyes.

"You don't think Charlie really will send me a Howler, do you?" He asked, well aware that Charlie's Howlers were as notorious within the Weasley family as Ginny's temper.

"Well, that depends," Ginny said smiling slyly. 

She leaned towards him and he gulped, "Depends on what?"

"On whether or not you really do have good intentions."

"I…I…uh,"

Ginny waited a moment then laughed again and smacked his arm, "Come on, we'll be late for dinner."

"Ginny?" Harry asked as they walked towards the Great Hall.

"What, Harry,"

"My intentions are wicked."

"Oh, no! Shock horror! I've become a scarlet woman."

Harry grinned and tugged at her hair as they entered the large hall, "Have been since birth. It was in the stars."

Ginny groaned, "Don't get me started on divination, please!"

Harry smiled and led her to their usual place, sitting down next to her opposite Ron and Hermione. He and Ginny smiled and shook their heads. Ron was wearing a goofy grin and Hermione had suddenly found the flowery pattern on her napkin amazingly interesting.

"So, have you seen the timetables yet?" Ginny asked, opening hers up.

"Oh, yeah, you'll love tomorrow," Ron said snickering with Hermione.

  
"What?" Harry asked as Ginny burst into fits of giggles.

"S-s-snape!" was all she was able to manage before dissolving into laughter again.

Harry frowned and opened his timetable. "Oh no."

"Can you imagine it?" Ron asked. 

"I don't want to." Harry said, smirking.

"Just think, Harry," Ginny said leaning against his arm, "tomorrow morning we have a class on 'Keeping Babies' with Professor Snape."

"I wonder who he pissed off to get that one." Ron said still laughing.

"Ron, watch your language."

"Hermione, dear, I do hope you're not going to be that much of a prude when we get married." George said sidling up next to her. Ron glared at his brother and placed an arm protectively around Hermione's shoulder. 

"Oh, this is new." Fred said nudging Ron, who was blushing redder than his hair. "Ronald, you old dog, you."

"So have you seen your timetable, yet, Harry? You and Ginny ready to make babies with Snape?" As soon as he uttered the words everyone within earshot, including him, either giggled or shuddered, mainly both.

"Babies?" George said pretending to shake water from his ears, "Did someone say babies?"

"Ginny! Harry! Babies! Right now! More babies! Bring on the babies! AHHHHHH!!!" Fred fell to the ground clutching his chest.

"I think Snape may be a little more refined than that, Fred." George said, helping his brother up and turning back the others. "More along the lines of, 'Potter, Weasley. You have till the end of class to procreate or you will receive detention for the rest of the term and 100 points from Gryffindor."

"Eh…George."

"What?" George said, still smirking. He looked at the faces of the table and noted the hushed silence, "He's right behind me, isn't he?"

"Well, Weasley, I think you've finally managed to succeed at something. Lets see if you can succeed in washing all of this evening's dishes."

"But, Professor!" George turned around.

"Without magic!" Fred finished, smirking. "Gotcha." The entire table burst out laughing as George pulled Fred into a headlock without seeming to move an inch. As they wrestled to the floor, Harry shook his head and looked back at his timetable.

"What's this? American football?"

"Yeah, seems Professor Sprout thinks it has something profound to do with life. Says it's character building or something. Sounds like fun."

"You've never seen American Football, have you, Ron?"

"No, what's it like?"

"Like Rugby, with padding and more teeth, from what I can see."

"What's rugby?"

"Lets just say it's brutal."

"Cool." Ron replied, smirking at Hermione, "You playing?"

"Seems like I have little choice. But since it's replacing Quiddich…"

"WHAT!" Fred and George stopped moving, arms still in a strangling position, and they, Ron, Harry, Dean and Seamus (who had been listening) stared at Hermione open mouthed. 

"They can't do that!" Fred said, continuing to squeeze his brother's neck.

"That's sacrilege!" George said, punching Fred on the chin.

"It's evil, that's what it is!" Ron said glaring.

"Sounds like fun to me." All heads turned to Ginny as she smiled innocently. "Just think, we all get to roll around in the mud together," she winked at Harry, "and I might actually be better at it than you, my brothers, 'cause you've never played before."

"And you have?" Harry asked, frowning. 

She smiled at him and raised her eyebrows, "Wouldn't you like to know."

_Yes!_ Harry thought, shaking his head. Rugby, babies with Snape (he shuddered) and mind games with Ginny as his partner. _This looks set to be an interesting term,_ Harry thought, smiling. He turned to look at Ginny and smiled, _Yes, looks like it could be very interesting._

~x~x~x~x~x~

**THE END?**

This was something I just had to write when I saw the contest! It's silly and it really makes no sense, but it was fun to write. 

Was thinking of making it a series, next part to be entitled "Keeping Babies" LoL! Will wait and see what the response is and if I can be bothered, I might do it anyway! ;) If you like, let me know, if anyone can think of a contest style list for the sequel, I may actually write one if so inspired! Either way, don't be harsh on this, it's all in fun!

Feedback is a gift, it's nice to give :)


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